


repressed feelings

by godhatescatra



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adora is in Love with Catra (She-Ra), Adora is nosy, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Catra (She-Ra) Redemption, Catra is in Love with Adora (She-Ra), F/F, Lesbian Character, Post-Canon, catra has a journal, catra has feelings, catradora, catradora fluff, minor glimbow, perfuma is mentioned, she doesn’t like to talk about them though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:14:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29231358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/godhatescatra/pseuds/godhatescatra
Summary: catra keeps a journal where she talks about her feelings, as a recommendation from perfuma. adora finds it the day she has nothing better to do than get into her girlfriend’s business.
Relationships: Adora & Bow & Glimmer (She-Ra), Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 93





	repressed feelings

**Author's Note:**

> english is not my first language, sorry if there’s any mistakes!

afternoons in bright moon were normally great, in general, now that the war had ended, life was great, for the most part at least. 

but one day, when catra had a meditating session with perfuma and glimmer and bow decided they wanted to have a date outside of bright moon, adora found herself being lonely. well, not necessarily lonely, but definitely would’ve preferred having some company rather than just wander around the castle with no actual purpose. she had finished all the duties she had for today, and it had been a pretty calm week, so she had nothing to distract herself with. 

finally, she decided maybe taking a nap wouldn’t be such a bad idea, after all, she hadn’t had one in probably months, and that way time would go by faster. 

she made her way to her bed, but being the overworker she was, she had a hard time falling asleep. then, something caught her attention from the corner of her eye. there was something laying under the dresser. she stood up and took a closer look, as she soon realized it was a notebook. 

adora took it in her hand, and flipped it over. it was a really simple notebook, with nothing more on the outside than a brown cover. still, she hadn’t seen it before. as she opened it, she noticed there was a lot of text in most pages, and she recognized catra’s handwriting. 

‘a journal?’ adora thought to herself ‘i should leave it back where it was’ 

as she closed the notebook, she saw her name in one of the pages. the girl reopened the book and mindlessly flipped through the pages, soon realizing her name was mentioned more than once, actually, WAY more than just once.

‘i really shouldn’t read this...’ adora debated with herself for a moment. 

on one hand she wanted to be honest with catra and give her the privacy she deserved. on the other hand, however, she had about an hour or so to read whatever her girlfriend really thought of her. yeah that sounded more appealing. fuck being a good person for once.

she flipped back to the first page, and started reading 

‘entry 1.

hey... catra here, i guess. perfuma said i should keep a journal, where i write about my day to day and my feelings to help me and not to keep bottling up all my emotions or whatever. honestly just sounds stupid to me. i don’t see how writing can help me. if anything, it just makes my hand hurt. 

but i’ve decided to give it a try, just in case it does work. i’d do anything to stop lashing out at people when things don’t go my way, i’d be annoyed at myself if i had to deal with it everyday. 

i don’t know how adora does it. i don’t know what is it she sees in me that makes her want to stay, and want to help me. she’s a good person, and she cares, and loves. and i’m... me. if i were her i would’ve left a long time ago. but, luckily, for me more than for anyone, she isn’t that kind of person, and i love her for that. 

hey, look! i’m actually writing about feelings without even thinking about it. kinda sucks.

oh shit. i hear footsteps approaching, can’t let adora see this or she would use it against me for the rest of our lives. i’ll come back and write later... just maybe.’

adora smiled to herself while turning to the next page

‘entry 2.

so, it’s been about a week since the last entry. i know i’m supposed to write about every single day, but my life isn’t even that interesting. it was kinda interesting before but, i wouldn’t go back, like, ever.

i guess this normal, relaxed life suits me well. can’t say the same for adora. it took us both some time to adjust, you know, growing up in the horde is the equivalent to not knowing how to take time for yourself and relax. 

but even then, i slept in and missed trainings. of course adora didn’t, and even now that we’re in bright moon, it’s like she has this strict schedule tattooed to her brain. i mean, can’t expect much less from someone who fights in her sleep. 

i’d never get myself to admit it out loud, but i find that habit of hers kind of cute. and physically painful sometimes. but mostly cute. 

ew what am i even saying’

adora was now grinning to herself. all this stuff catra wouldn’t say out loud, and she knew they were true even before this, but actually seeing them on paper was reassuring.

she skipped a few more pages and kept reading some of them, then skipped all the way to the last entry, she realized it was written just yesterday.

‘entry 24.

today was a good day. me and adora took a walk through the whispering woods, and visited madam razz. first time i met her, not gonna lie, she kinda freaked me out, but now i realize she’s just an old lady who loves making pie. a... really weird old lady who loves making pie in the middle of the woods, that is, but she’s a good person, and she helped out adora a lot. 

she can time travel(? uh, i’m not sure. point is, she can somehow see the past and the future which is um... creepy to say the least, but, i’ve been wanting to ask her something. about me and adora. our future.

i have no idea how her whole time travel thing works, but if she could just tell me something about it... i want to know if we’re still happy. as happy as we’ve been for the last months, at least as happy as i’ve been. i never want this to end, and i’m constantly afraid that adora will, eventually. 

the problem is, adora never knows what she wants. what if she doesn’t want this, but hasn’t yet realized it? that’s what terrifies me, her suddenly realizing this isn’t what she wants. i guess time will tell. or, if i’m lucky, madam razz will tell.

ugh, i always end up talking about my feelings without even realizing it. as much as i hate to say it, this whole journal thing has kind of helped me. i guess i’ll keep it up’

adora felt herself at the verge of tears. catra really wanted to be with her, but didn’t know if it was mutual? adora wanted catra to know that it was, that she wanted her more than anything. 

she was so ensnared in her own thoughts that didn’t realize when glimmer and bow teleported right into her room

“we’re back!” bow practically yelled

adora quickly closed the book and wiped away the few tears that were already rolling down her cheeks. luckily for her, her friends seemed to excited about their date to even notice something was off.

“we went to this town, how had we spent all this time without visiting it! it was beautiful and they have this yearly festival, we have to take you and catra” glimmer said

“well i’m glad you two had fun, i’d sure love to go and see it for myself”

“you really have to. anyways, hope you’re hungry, cause we also brought some food from the festival so, dinner’s ready”

“i’m actually starving”

“let’s go then”

adora approached the couple, as glimmer took them both in her arms and teleported them to the dining hall, where they all sat together and started eating.

after a few minutes, catra came back from plumeria, and entered the room.

“hey guys” she said, taking a seat across from glimmer and bow, and by adora’s side

“hi catra, how was plumeria today?” glimmer replied

“oh you know... sickeningly peaceful and joyful, as always” catra said in a sarcastic tone

the brunette looked at her girlfriend, who was now staring at her

“and what are you looking at, dumbass?”

adora didn’t think for a moment before pulling her into a kiss. catra was surprised at first, but eventually kissed her back. meanwhile, glimmer just groaned while bow looked away.

when they parted, catra couldn’t help but laugh at adora’s dorky smile 

“wow, okay, someone’s happy to see me. what was that for?”

“i just- gods, i love you so much”

“adora, are you okay?” catra raised an eyebrow 

“yes, i’m fine, i just... i’m never leaving okay? i really don’t want this to end, like, ever” adora hugged catra, who just looked quizzical 

“what are you talking about-“ catra’s eyes widened in realization “did you-? you found my journal, didn’t you?”

adora pulled away from the hug

“whaaaat? no! wh- what journal, i don’t know what you’re talking ab-“

catra interrupted her with another kiss

“it’s okay dummy. just remember i sleep by your side and that i know where they keep the knives next time you want to read my private stuff”

**Author's Note:**

> had this random idea the other day and really wanted to write about it, idk if it has been done yet but i hope you liked it :))


End file.
